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9th February
posted by amber


I couldn’t resist. After Matt did the jackalope and April did the cameleopard, I wanted to do my own mash-up.

And really, mine was the most challenging, because theirs were mammal/mammal but mine was reptile/bird. And I wanted it to be really successful. Theirs both had flaws. The poor little jackalope couldn’t hold up its antlered head and the cameleopard kept trying to eat itself. Possibly I was lucky that no one had a preconceived idea of what a turtledove should look like. The name derives from the Latin, turtur, imitative of the sound doves make, nothing to do with turtles.

I knew what I wanted and I wanted a lot. It should be able to fly and also to swim. It should have the shell of a turtle and the head of a dove. It should be beautiful.

I think it is beautiful. Yes, I still think that, even now that it’s the only flying thing in the sky and the only swimming thing in the water. I didn’t let it out on purpose, you know. The jackalope and the cameleopard were released too, after the animal rights group broke in. You should be prosecuting them! I hid my part in it because – well, we weren’t supposed to be doing that sort of thing, were we? We were supposed to make cows better. Boring!

April designed the cameleopard to be sterile but I hear there are still a few jackalopes out there. I’d been planning to introduce sterility to the turtledoves, but first I was curious to see what kind of eggs they’d lay.

I certainly did not design them to be as aggressive as they are.

They’re eighty percent dove, for god’s sake.

The bird of peace.

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