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27th September
2011
posted by amber

The Country

You need to know this about me – I’ve always hated the country. Bringing me way out here is not a good idea. I mean, come on – an outhouse? This is not going to go well. What’s that you’re waving at me? A chamber pot? Forget it. If there’s no indoor plumbing, I’m not happy.

No, I’m not as comfortable as I need to be. Sure, that’s a pretty nice bed you put in the room for me, but I know I heard some kind of rodent gnawing away in the walls last night. How’s a girl supposed to get her beauty sleep with mice or rats chewing not two feet away from her face?

And don’t get me started about the insects.

Yes, I’m a prima donna. That’s why you wanted me, isn’t it? But it’s not as if I’ve always had the best of everything. Before my father started his company, we took holidays in the country and stayed in some really rustic places. And you know what? None of us liked rustic. My father might have liked fishing and my mother might have liked taking walks and looking at plants and stuff, but none of us liked rustic and we’ve all been pretty happy that we can afford to take trips where we don’t have to use outhouses and hear rodents and be bugged by insects.

So you can keep me here, and you can make those reports to my father that I’m fine and healthy and all, but if you need me to say anything to prove that I really am okay so he’ll go ahead and pay the ransom quickly and according to your rules, you’d better take me the hell out of the country.

The Story 365 project is a year-long marathon of short story writing, with a new story posted every day on this website from May 1, 2011 – April 30, 2012. Stories must be a minimum of 200 words. Please help me by adding first line suggestions in the Comment section.

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